Jews

For Jewish people, there's only two ways to have an argument: either you yell and scream and die of a heart attack, or you suffer in silence, martyr yourself (Me? Angry?), and die later of cancer anyway. This was a hybrid argument: my Mother would shout at/to third parties, but refuse to discuss it with Vera and expect her to know, psychically why she was annoyed.

Also, people don't really HAVE arguments, they MAKE them, like a cup of tea. I guess a verbatim translation from Yiddish, but none of the passivity of an English argument. Just like you don't THROW a party, you MAKE one. Being Jewish is very proactive.

Eskimos might have 127 words for snow (apparently an urban myth, by the way, or a skiers myth?) but Jewish people have 613 words for an argument. A broigus is pretty low key, and wears off without ever being resolved. Sometimes it's not even an argument, just Being Annoyed. Like if you get seated by the band at your friend's child's wedding.

A ferribul is more long term, it's a status. "What a ferribul I had with her. We didn't talk for… I don't know HOW long". And a gefrunzel? People have been arguing over the meaning of that one forever.

Talking to my friends about the fruit scenario I discover that Gary has never met his uncle or cousins because there had been a crockery-ferribul over his grandmother's fleishig best. And my brother, a Barrister noch has two significant specialisms; Fitted Kitchen Litigation and Package Holiday Litigation.

Looking back, my childhood was drama-driven. Everyday conversation happened at breakneck speed and maximum volume. I don't think anyone in my family has finished a sentence in three generations. I remember the Friday Night dinner table pregnant with unfinished conversations hanging in the air. We want to get heard but not necessarily to listen. You've got to be quick, defend yourself, take no hostages. After all, they might come and get you at any minute.